All Good Things Must Come To An End...And Last Comic Standing 4 Does, Too.

Ok, so we know what we know. We know who won the show. This is spoilerage for those who haven't watched yet tonight, so I'll hem and haw for awhile until you GET IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEADS THAT I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT TONIGHT'S EPISODE AND YOU MIGHT SEE SPOILERS.

Spoilers!

But first, some talkage about the Network Time Killing pre-announcement festivities.

I'm not even going to dignify the abysmal horror that was the Last Comic Downloaded by talking about it. At least they didn't have those losers perform again. Gack. Ptui.

So what do we get instead of entertainment? Why, Dat Phan, of course. Last we saw Dat Phan, he was floating facedown and motionless in the pool out back by the patio as we all danced a conga line and drank CC-and-7. Executive Producers Dan and Jane must have hooked him up to a Sears DieHard™ or somethin', because there he fucking was on TV for what, the first time since he "won" LCS1?

Dat is a better standup than he was in those days. He still pretty much sucks, though. Like Roz, he doesn't have jokes, he has PROBLEMS, including: lame-ass material (only the glow-in-the-dark ninjas were even halfway funny), a muchtoofastIcan'tcatchmybreath delivery, jumping from subject to subject trying to cram every goddamn joke he wrote or stole into five minutes, and that doofy haircut.

At least we got him out of the way and back to living under his desk early on in the program, unlike Anthony Clark, who we had to put up with for NINETY GODDAMN MINUTES.

John Heffron...now *there's* a comic. He's obviously grown and learned something over the past couple years, and he's still got some funny left in him. Good to see him, wish we could see more.

Same for Alonzo Bodden. He had an ugly (ugly-ass-ugly) jacket on tonight and appears to be carrying one of Stella's babies, but he did a nice set, highly-professional and kinda even funny.

Then the highlight of the evening: Jay Mohr got to perform. Jay's really funny and I laughed out loud a couple times and boy he's much funnier than Anthony Clark and Dat Phan and all of this year's contestants rolled together. Guess NBC kissed his ass enough to get him to come back. Can they keep kissing until he's rehired as host? Please?

It's an hour in! We still aren't anywhere near the results! Whee!

Ty Barnett did an excellent job tonight. I wonder how much of tonight's material was new; was he holding something back, or was this fresh? Either way, he killed tonight, easily the second-best comic on stage after Jay...and yes, I'm including Heffron and Alonzo in that list.

But Josh...Josh...Josh's set was cut short. Did he flake out or was this NBC's doing? Josh had *zero* material and was up there mugging and milking the whole time. I like him, but dude, BRING THE GODDAMN FUNNY, WON'TCHA?

I was convinced last week that Ty deserved to win, and tonight's performances by Ty and Josh proved that I Was And Continue To Be Correct In My Judgment.

Of course, this also means that America voted for Josh.

Josh. Nice guy, funny guy, didn't earn the victory, imo.

At least Ty will be free to seek his own contracts, yes?

Last Comic Standing 4 - This Time, It's Personal

Man, Shecky Magazine folks shore don't like this show.

I am *totally* on their side about the web losers. THEY WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO BE ON THE SHOW, SO WE GIVE THEM EACH THREE MINUTES ON THE NEXT-TO-LAST EPISODE??? Fuck dat.

Speaking of whom, he's going to be on the show tomorrow. Hopefully not performing, but my luck doesn't run that good. Also John Heffron and Alonzo Bodden, so life isn't so bad.

I see they're tossing a bone at Jay Mohr, letting him be on the finale. Wellllll, he's only about 80 gazillion times funnier than Anthony Clark - who's from the South - why he hayus an ack-sent and *everuhthin*. I'll say something nice about Anthony Clark...two things...one, he's a better comic than he is a host, and two, thank Krishna, Vishnu, Eris, Buddha, and Stanley the Two-Headed Lizard God that he's not ANT.

Josh "I Used to Work on Anthony Clark's Sitcom But That Had Nothing to Do With Me Being on LCS" Wolf - A quick tip: If you're going to do Seuss, it has to rhyme. Man, it was so clear that he didn't deserve to be on the show.

Theo Von - Continues to suck. Aggressively unfunny. At least he gave up the fake hip-hop shtick. Did he do that K-Fed joke before or did he steal it? Either way, it's NO LONGER TOPICAL and STILL NOT FUNNY.

Paul Rodriguez was sorta funny. At least he knows how to work a crowd and do his routine. Yeah, he "borrowed" the joke about "who do you think's gonna build that wall?" but it fits in with his persona and routine so well that it didn't bug me.

Ok, ANTHONY JACKWEED CLARK, we've waiting for fucking ever to get to the vote reveal and YOU STILL TRY TO DRAG IT OUT??? Doofus.

I like Chris and voted for him last week, but can't say he didn't deserve to go. I'm sure we'll see him again somewhere.

NINETY MINUTES FOR TOMORROW'S SHOW? WHY? WHY? Who gives a shit about this year's losers? Why must we have a reunion? ARGH!!!! The only thing that would make this completely worth watching 90 minutes of would be if they dug up and reanimated Buddy Hackett.

Finally, they got to tonight's performances from the people we tuned in to see.

As my gal Ro says, Josh is very likable, but his material is running a little thin. I liked the joke about the wallet and thought the NEAAARRRR/far... bit was amusingly silly, but he was doing more mugging than comedy.

Ty had a much better routine tonight than Josh. Yeah, he repeated one joke from before (the one about meeting an old buddy), but I think it was from his audition, so who cares? He was funnier than Josh tonight, and I think he deserves to win.

Of course, because I think that, it instantly jinxes him. They'll probably come back with some stupid write-in ballot that allows Stella and the Kicking Dwarf to be co-champions.